Ash Wednesday 2011

The time of reflection and repentance is once again upon us.  I don't know about you, but I don't fuss over this too awful much, because . . . well, I reckon since I'm Catholic (and I believe all of it, even when I don't understand it - that's faith working!), I ought to have some kind of reflection and repentance thing going on on a regular basis, no?

I do the best I can during Lent as far as abstaining (from meat) and fasting (nearly starving to death, of course, 'cos I do love my morsels . . . ).   My biggest struggle is choosing to stay the course on starving myself to death fasting days.  Those days are the hardest . . . but only in my mind.  Here's how it works with me:  tell me I can't have something (and, really, if you want to be faithful - and I do! - it is a "can't") and it literally tears my mind in half.  That which I could have left alone for months by choice, is suddenly my deepest desire.  No meat on Friday?  Guess what?  I could have not eaten meat on Friday for months and suddenly it's the biggest deal that I can't have it.  Anyone else suffer from this?  Tell me I can only have what amounts to barely a full meal on a day of fasting and I've got cravings for every meal, which on many normal days, I skip breakfast and barely eat a thing until lunch.  I'm not kidding.  But.  Fasting days?  I'm stark raving mad with hunger from the crack of dawn . . . and it plagues my every thought of how tasty something - anything! - would be if only I could have a nibble. 

To help combat this no meat on Friday's during Lent issue, I have begun a few weeks ago to not eat meat on Friday's . . . and I'm going to do my best to keep that permanent.  It's not that hard when I've faced it down this way.  I'm doing it out of love for God and His Church.

So, attitude adjustment was the big step for me.  Prayer will see to it that it works.

The fasting is hardest, but it's only a few days of Lent.  I can surely do this . . . with prayer.  The two do go together quite nicely.

After these requirements, I gave some thought to what actually plagues me on a regular basis:  shopping.  I mean the kind that doesn't involve keeping us fed.  Anyway, and now there's that snacking shopping problem as well.  Geesh!

1. No more running off to the shopette/mini mart to buy ice-cream, cookies, soda, beer, snacks . . . these trips happen so frequently that it's robbing our money about $20 each time (if not more) which adds up every month to more than we should be able to afford.  IT IS GLUTTONY.  If my children want to pop down with their own money, they may go ahead.  This is my battle to tighten our belts fiscally, but also figuratively (ahem).
2. No eating out during Lent.  Except for ONE Sunday where we will decide by majority vote to eat out or dine in with take-away.  Just once.  No more going to get Subway or McDonald's because the kids (okay, or I) are hankering for something fast and frankly terrible for us.  This tightens the belt fiscally and figuratively as well.
3. No buying a single thing we do not need and this includes clothing (I have a "thing" about buying Rachel all this stuff she doesn't need, but wants . . . the boys are getting jealous and . . . well, it is enough).

This is the area I need the most work on:  Managing the money.  My husband makes enough - but we I do not have to continue spending every penny just 'cos it's there to spend.  It's time to save and be responsible stewards of our money.  It's not bad, but we could always do so much better!

You all have my prayers during this Lenten journey.  May you find each day blessed.