Oh, Dear

I've fallen off the Daybook wagon, haven't I?  I've fallen from so many wagons this last week, I'm not at all surprised.  But, alas! I did make time to go to Confession this week.  I do find time to take care of the "forever" important business.  I don't share that to make anyone feel in any particular way, I share because it is a formula for Peace.  I believe that statement to be true no matter who you are.

Make it right with God.  Ask Mary to help you.  Get the Saints on your case.  Reach out to your friends.  Give back to your spouse, children, and extended family and friends.

I'm only human so I love the applause for a job well done, a deed gone well.  However.  (However)  I am beginning to believe what was written in the Bible:  that then, that fleeting feeling of happiness, is my reward. And, really, that feeling is fleeting!  I need to humble myself so much more, and, like John the Baptist, become smaller and smaller.  My words and deeds may be important, but God's Work much more so!  I am only a conduit.  Mind you, glad to be a conduit of good at all!  That, that is where Joy is:  knowing that I am working for and with the Kingdom.

I rely heavily upon Mary, Our Lady of Good Counsel.  I constantly fail to ask Her help, trust me, but I'm trying.  And, that is one of the reasons I love the Catholic Faith.  Forgiveness is real!  I can begin again.  And, again, if needs be.  It's a comforting thing to have that knowledge.  I've found I have to want to change.  I mean really really want it.  That has been my downfall, really.  Not wanting to change.  Thinking:  I'm weak, and we (God and I) both know this.  So, based on that, it's okay if I keep failing over this one thing or that one thing.  God gets it.  I'm weak.  He'll forgive me over and over again.  So, I cease trying to change, really.  I get complacent and lazy.  I find my spiritual life with God moving about as slow as molasses inside an ice-cube.  Many times I am my own worst enemy.  I give in too easily to the temptation to do nothing, to change and resolve nothing.  I cease to grow and thrive.

I'm so sorry for that, Lord.

I will get back to the basics and trust:  JOY is:  Jesus, Others, You.  There's no party if it's just YOU.  But, do be kind to yourself.  God does forgive me over and over again. He will do the same for you.   But, this time . . . I trust it is going to be wildly different.  I've asked Mary to seriously help me amend my ways - and She will never let me down!

This Advent has been, to say the least, weird.  Not sad, not happy, not "anything" really.  Maybe it's been a "to do" list more than anything else.  But, you know what?  It will pass - the feeling I mean.  This funky weird darkness - because .  .  . because Mary is bringing Her Son.  The periphery stuff (candles, incense, music, all the trappings of the holiday season - all of that) cannot change, add, or take away from the Truth:  Jesus Christ is Born!

Amen.

Jesus Christ is Born!